recieved: mother-child spring swap

Back in April, I decided to start a Mother-Child Craft Swap group. This group hosts swaps for mothers and children who love crafting and love receiving surprises in the mail. The purpose of this group is to give everyone a chance to participate in a swap, regardless of age or skill level. Each swap we will exchange handmade items based on a theme. Even though the group is hosted on Ravelry, crafts are not limited to knitting or crochet.

This particular swap is Spring themed, and packages should include:

Three handmade item (something knit, modeled, strung, painted, etc.--the options are endless!)
One kid-friendly recipe
A sample of the sender’s favorite snack
A handwritten note or postcard (or hand-drawn picture for younger children)
Something for Mom (a skein of yarn, something handmade, sweets, etc.)

On Wednesday, we got home from a beautiful day at the Sunwatch Indian Village and found a surprise waiting for us--Eva's package from her nine-year-old swap partner, Gigi! Let me say, Gigi hit it on the nose with her pink themed package of gifts for Eva! Here’s what Eva got…

First thing’s first, there was a fantastic recipe for Pizza Surprise--a sweet treat that we made for an afternoon snack on Thursday. It was very rich and delicious! Gigi also made an AWESOME card of Chihiro from Spirited Away--one of Eva’s absolute favorite movies, I might add--with a handwritten note inside. Gigi has absolutely beautiful handwriting! Now, on to the snacks--two Snickers bars and a box of Nerds! These were a real treat for Eva since we do not give in to candy all that often. The candy sure did not last long at all, though. Eva had a friend over on Wednesday night, and, between the two of them, when I went to recruit Eva to take pictures on Thursday morning, there was not any evidence of the candy left! So much for savoring it!

And then there are the crafts! Gigi picked the PERFECT projects for Eva! She LOVES sparkly pink things! Gigi custom designed three lovely matching items--a hat, a pair of flip-flops with beautiful glittery flowers, and a lovely tote bag.

Next, paired with a skein of soft PINK yarn was a pair of awesome girly hand-made knitting needles in size US 8. Eva has already switched her latest project from her boring plastic needles she had been using before to this awesome pair

There were a few more surprises lingering in the bottom of the package, too--a box of crayons with an attached crayon sharpener, an Alice coloring book, and a pocket-sized notebook with matching ballpoint pen. These items will surely come in very handy for the many lazy summer days ahead of us.

And the surprise for mom? Two lovely skeins of Cascade Superwash Paints! ‘Twas love at first sight! The colors are AMAZING! They remind me of the beach!

A big thank you goes out to Gigi and her mom, Nerissa, for such a wonderful swap package. We love everything and we hope Gigi enjoys the package Eva put together for her, too. Check out what we sent Gigi!

the value and purpose of labor support

Labor support can be priceless to a mother. As doulas, we often times do put a price tag on our services and time, but the benefits received outweigh the cost. Studies have shown that by hiring a doula a mother can reduce her need for pain medication, increase overall satisfaction with the birth experience, drastically reduce the risk of a cesarean and reduce the risk of assisted delivery by forceps or vacuum extraction. The studies have  also shown a reduction in postpartum depression for mothers who had a doula or continual labor support by a person trained in birth. Much of this is the result of an increase in confidence levels by both the mother and the father. Second time mothers often say that their birth with a doula was so much better than their first birth without one because they knew they had someone there whose sole purpose was to tend to her physical and emotional needs.

Part of labor support is empowering a mother to have confidence in her ability to birth. Having someone available for the entire length of labor provides security and confidence for the mother as practitioners are typically caring for multiple patients at a time or have other responsibilities, such as the clinical needs of the mother and the baby. Paperwork also must be completed and shift changes occur, bringing in new people to the birth environment. Having a constant throughout the entire labor process provides a sense of familiarity and safety for a laboring mother. Doulas also help the mother and father both communicate with the hospital staff or birth attendants, which is necessary in a time such as labor when the parents are usually distracted with the labor itself. While it is not the role of a doula to speak for the parents to the practitioner, she should advocate in order to help the mother or partner speak for themselves. Helping the mother and partner ask the questions appropriate to their situation and navigating the terminology used is also often helpful.

Supporting a mother emotionally during labor and birth helps the mother to believe that she can do it. Sometimes being told that she can do it is all that a mother needs to hear to keep going strong during a long labor. Understanding that laboring women are vulnerable and that the birth space should be protected is very important. Laboring women should have peace and quiet and no unnecessary interruption--and holding that space for a mother is a priority. When a doula and a partner help create a peaceful and safe environment for a laboring mother, practitioners will often follow suite and respect that space, allowing a sense of calm for the mother that helps her to maintain stamina through labor. Emotional support does not end at the birth, however. Helping a mother to process her birth experience is equally important. In unforeseen complications or unexpected situations or traumas, a mother needs the continued emotional support to facilitate healing. Being especially sensitive to these needs helps to reduce postpartum depression and negative feelings towards her birth.

Labor support also includes physical support for the laboring mother. Every woman has a different need in labor, whether it is continual touch, massage or counter pressure, while other women want very little physical touch. Women will often not know what their need will be until labor has progressed and it is important to be able to understand what the mothers needs are and at what time her needs are the greatest. Incorporating the partner into the physical aspect of labor support is often very affective as they usually already have a certain intimacy between them as a couple.

The needs of a laboring and birthing woman are very complex. Mothers deserve the continual support of a doula, someone trained in labor support. If all women had a doula present for their labor and delivery, most of them would be able to birth without medication and with little medical intervention. The cost of maternity care would decrease as a result, and there would be higher success rates in breastfeeding. Postpartum depression rates would also lower. Every woman deserves a memorable and meaningful birth experience. Every woman deserves a doula.

Artwork: Birthing in Pink by Aiyaart

profit-driven pregnancies

Our healthcare system in the United States is profit driven. By pathologizing pregnancy, by inducing and augmenting childbirth--an otherwise NORMAL condition--medical practitioners have the opportunity to drive up their profit margin. It is also why medical institutions are so against homebirth. They are so outspoken against it on the guise of it being unsafe, even though statistics show homebirth is the safest option for healthy, normal pregnancies. However, if women give birth at home, doctors, hospitals, pharmaceutical companies have no chance for profit.

The article Pathologizing pregnancy: it’s just good business from KippReport hits this concept right on the head.

the due date epidemic

Before obstetricians created the birthing industry, the natural average gestation of humans was 266 days from the date of conception, often continuing for another week or two or even more, especially for first-time mothers. Today, with medical intervention at an all-time high, is actually closer to 250 days. While no one knows exactly what naturally sets a pregnant woman into labor, research has shown that it is a complex interplay between the mother's body and her baby's body. As the due date approaches, though, many obstetricians recommend medical induction in order to bring on labor.

As stated above, the average length of gestation for a human female is approximately 38 weeks (266 days) from the date of conception. However, since most women do not know the day they conceived, health care providers measure the length of pregnancy from the date of the last menstrual period, which works out to 40 weeks (the two extra weeks come from the fact that the average woman ovulates around 14 days after the first day of her last period, and this is when she is assumed to have conceived).

Because pregnancy is so long, and completely unpredictable, the medical community has latched on to the concept of a due date. Of course, the estimated due date is just that: an estimate, give or take a few days or weeks. However, doctors seem to have forgotten that the estimated due date is not to be relied upon as the actual day of birth. Doctors are increasingly relying on the estimated due date as a date on which to start planning inductions, and even threatening cesareans, for going 'overdue.'

But what does this mean for the woman whose menstrual cycle is not the standard 28-day cycle? This means that her estimated due date will actually be off by as much as one to two weeks in either direction. And if she has a doctor who likes to consider induction or cesarean after the estimated due date, he may be wrong by as much as two weeks early. For this reason, there is absolutely no justification for considering induction of a healthy pregnant woman before 42 weeks of gestation. Unless the woman herself knows either the day she ovulated, or the day she conceived, her due date may be off by as much as two weeks in either direction. Two weeks is too much of a margin of error to consider taking a baby early.

For the vast majority of women, induction increases risks for them and for their babies. Induction literally leads to a cascade of interventions, meaning that once intervention begins, another intervention is followed by another, which is followed by yet another, in a repetitive cycle of intervention. Having labor induced will medicalize a mother's birth experience. Once labor is augmented, a woman will need an IV and continuous electronic fetal monitoring which will confine her to a bed for the duration of her labor. Contractions will probably be more painful, often making pain medication unavoidable. If an epidural is administered, it will help eliminate the magnified pain, but it also introduces a long list of potential problems of its own. And with nearly 50% of woman whose labors are medically induced end up having a cesarean birth, a whole new set of complications are added to the cascade, with major abdominal surgery, pain, and increased recovery time.

However, each and every day the baby spends inside his mother's uterus is valuable to his development and ability to survive of the outside of the womb. Even during late pregnancy, the baby continues to grow, his brain develops, his little body stores more fat, and his little lungs grow stronger with the passing time. A mother's body also prepares for labor by dilating a few centimeters before labor even begins. If a woman goes beyond her estimated due date, it does not mean the baby is 'overdue.' This 'post-date' pregnancy should, however, be considered beneficial for the baby--an added opportunity for the baby to grow and develop.

At the end of pregnancy, if the pregnant woman is really tired and uncomfortable, and the idea of inducing seems welcome to her, and she is truly worried about going 'overdue,' there are better ways to know what is happening in her body than simply kicking the baby out. The baby's heart rate and movements can easily be monitored by the mother and the mother should pay attention to her body's signals. There is no need to cause an emergency situation when there is not one yet. Let the mother's body and the baby tell when it’s time. When the baby is fully developed and ready to live outside the womb, labor will assuredly start on its own. 


If you are interested in reading more about pregnancies that extend beyond 40 weeks, I recommend In their own sweet time: A journey into post-date pregnancy. For ideas on how to carry on after your due date, try Surviving an Overdue Pregnancy.

after the birth, what a family needs

"Let me know if I can help you in any way when the baby is born."

"Just let me know if you need a hand." 

"Anything I can do, just give me a call." 

Most pregnant women get these statements from friends and family but shy away from making requests when they are up to their ears in dirty laundry, unmade beds, dust bunnies and countertops crowded with dirty dishes. The myth of, “I’m fine. I’m doing great. New motherhood is wonderful. I can cope and my husband is the Rock of Gibraltar,” is pervasive in postpartum land.

If you are too shy to ask for help and make straight requests of people, I suggest sending the following list out to your friends and family. These are the things I have found to be missing in every house with a new baby. It’s actually easy and fun for outsiders to remedy these problems for the new parents but there seems to be a lot of confusion about what is actually wanted and needed.

1. Buy us toilet paper, milk and beautiful whole grain bread.

2. Buy us a new garbage can with a swing top lid and 6 pairs of black cotton underpants (women’s size____). 

3. Make us a big supper salad with feta cheese, black Kalamata olives, toasted almonds, organic green crispy things and a nice homemade dressing on the side. Drop it off and leave right away. Or, buy us frozen lasagna, garlic bread, a bag of salad, a big jug of juice, and maybe some cookies to have for dessert. Drop it off and leave right away. 

4. Come over about 2 in the afternoon, hold the baby while the new mother has a hot shower, put the new mother to bed with the baby and then fold all the piles of laundry that have been dumped on the couch, beds or in the room corners. If there is no laundry to fold yet, do some. 

5. Come over at l0 a.m., make us eggs, toast and a 1/2 grapefruit. Clean our fridge and throw out everything you are in doubt about. Do not ask me about anything; just use your best judgment.

6. Put a sign on our door that reads, “Dear Friends and Family, Mom and baby need extra rest right now. Please come back in 7 days but phone first. All donations of casserole dinners would be most welcome. Thank you for caring about this family.”

7. Come over in your work clothes and vacuum and dust our house and then leave quietly. It is tiring for a new mother to chat and have tea with visitors but it will renew her soul to get some rest knowing she will wake up to clean, organized space.

8. Take our older kids for a really fun-filled afternoon to a park, zoo or Science World and feed them healthy food.

9. Come over and give the new father a two hour break so he can go to a coffee shop, pub, hockey rink or some other activity that will delight him. Fold more laundry.

10. Make us a giant pot of vegetable soup and clean the kitchen completely afterwards. Take a big garbage bag and empty every trash basket in the house and reline with fresh bags.

These are the kindnesses that new families remember and appreciate forever. It is easy to spend money on gifts, but the things that really make a difference are the services for the body and soul described above. Most of your friends and family members do not know what they can do that will not be an intrusion. They also cannot devote 40 hours to supporting you but they would be thrilled to devote four hours. If you let 10 people help you out for four hours each, you will have the 40 hours of rested, adult support you really need with a newborn in the house. There is magic in the little prayer, “I need help.”

preparing for natural childbirth

One of the most important choices a pregnant woman will make is how she will give birth. While it is common for many birthing women to choose medications and synthetic drugs to manage pain during labor, choosing to do so brings on a greatly increased risk of birth complications and further labor intervention procedures. While childbirth may be painful, in a healthy pregnancy, a natural, drug-free childbirth is by far the best option for having a healthy delivery. A woman who trusts in her body's natural ability to labor and birth will have the most rewarding, emotional and powerful birth experience.

There are many steps you can take during your pregnancy in order to prepare for a natural birth. Make sure you keep a healthy lifestyle during your pregnancy, eating primarily nutritious, whole foods and getting plenty of easy exercise by walking, doing stretches, and yoga.

Once you decide you are serious about having a natural childbirth, hire attendants who are more likely to support your decision to birth naturally. Consider hiring a midwife rather than an OB. Midwives are autonomous practitioners and are the primary carer for the vast majority of women in both the developed and undeveloped worlds during their pregnancy. Provided a pregnancy is progressing normally, a woman need never see a doctor. According to Catherine Taylor in her book Giving Birth: A Journey into the World of Mothers and Midwives, midwives have a 19% lower rate of infant deaths and a 33% lower rate of neonatal mortality (infant death in the first month) than doctors attending comparable births, and midwives who attend hospital births have a cesarean rate that is half the national average. Additionally, midwives tend to be more open to different methods of childbirth. And, if complications do arise, midwives are assuredly knowledgeable and capable.

Whether you choose to hire a midwife or not, you may also consider hiring a doula. Essentially, a doula is a natural-childbirth coach and advocate for the birthing mother and her family. If you have a doula present at your birth, she will be able to remind you of the reasons you chose to birth naturally and gently push you to continue as you had planned when you are in the throws of labor. She will also be able to assist you with relaxation, breathing and pain-relieving techniques and help labor move along as smoothly as possible. In addition to providing emotional and physical labor support, she will advocate your wishes and can assist in communication with medical staff in a hospital setting, as well as obtain information for you to better be able to make informed decisions in regards to procedures and possible interventions.

Perhaps the most important step to preparing yourself for a natural childbirth is to educate yourself about every aspect of the birth experience. You have nine months to learn all you can about labor options, birth attendants, common procedures, possible necessary and unnecessary interventions, and the common and unique qualities of other successful natural childbirths. With the internet, there are literally countless resources at your fingertips. There are also many books that focus objectively on natural birthing options, including my favorites, Birthing from Within: An Extra-Ordinary Guide to Childbirth Preparation by Pam England and Rob Horowitz and The Birth Partner: A Complete Guide to Childbirth for Dads, Doulas, and All Other Labor Companions by Penny Simkin. When browsing birth-education reading material, be sure to choose books and sources that positively support your decision to have a healthy, aware, and natural childbirth.

Another step you can take to prepare yourself for a natural birth is to participate in childbirth education classes. While many hospitals offer basic classes for pregnant couples, there are many alternative options that actually focus on natural labor techniques. Lamaze is the most discussed method of birth education and natural pain management, teaching techniques for focused breathing. Lamaze will help you focus on making it through each contraction, though it does not necessarily prepare women for what to expect in regards to the intense pain involved in labor. Becoming increasingly popular, however, are comprehensive natural childbirth classes such as Hypnobabies, The Pink Kit, and Birth Outside the Box. These well-rounded, objective courses are comparably priced and available to you in the comfort of your own home or in small group settings, and they will provide you with options for natural pain-relief and a solid foundation on which to build your natural birth experience.

Lastly, be confident about your decision to have a natural childbirth and your body's ability to birth. For most women who choose natural childbirth, their main goal is to be lucid and alert after the delivery of their baby, to be able to immediately and peacefully see, hold and bond with their baby. Visualize this positive outcome throughout your pregnancy and be confident that this is what your want. If you expect horrible labor pain, you are more likely to actually be in pain. Confidence is actually a big step in making the labor process more bearable.

Once you educate yourself about your options and decide on birth attendants who support your decision to birth naturally, you will be able to develop a clear picture of your own expectations for a emotionally fulfilling positive birth experience. If you begin feeling discouraged at any point during your pregnancy or labor, remember this one simple thing: You were made for this.

recieved: it's all in the bag

I know, I know... It's been a good couple of weeks since I received my swap package from Amber and I haven't posted about it yet. But, I am on vacation now, so I should have some time to get some things on my ever-growing to-do list crossed off.

The swap is for the Malabrigo Swap Group on Ravelry. As I explained in my previous post, the theme for this round is It's All in the Bag--a project bag theme, where everything sent to the spoiler must fit inside a knitter's project bag. The only other rule is that only one skein of yarn can be sent. It was a secret swap, which means I had no idea who would be 'stalking' me and sending me a package. I was thoroughly surprised when I opened my box from Amber to find the best smelling, most wonderful OWL bag by Dancing Sheep!! The colors are perfect and it’s so absolutely cute! I LOVE IT!

The skein of Malabrigo is to DIE for! It is worsted in Sauterne--and it’s perfect! I love the bright color! I have lovely plans for this yarn!

I also got this beautiful shawl pin made from reclaimed wood (I love that idea!):

Amber also included notions out the wazoo: post-it flags for pattern tracking as well as some cute ‘s’ post-its, a pair of AWESOME folding mini-scissors, stitch markers, unscented SOAK (which is a gentle wool wash), and T-pins for blocking my knitting! And she gave me Mad-Libs!!! I love Mad-Libs! Eva and I did the first two puzzles over breakfast the morning after my package arrived, and we have done a few since then!

She also got me a lovely one-of-a kind sheep mug made by a local Mariland artist! I have already enjoyed countless cups of hot tea in it! This mug is already my new favorite! And, I’m sure you’re asking what made the package smell so good, right? It’s the soaps from a local soapmaker (you’re right, Amber, they are heavenly!) and a beautiful embroidered sachet filled with dried lavender! Add some Burt’s Bees Lip Balm and some yummy dark chocolate-hazelnut and I’m set!

And on the CD were the patterns, Maddox the Mischievous Monster and In Threes--A Baby Cardigan. Here is a picture of all of this awesomeness together:

 
I am surprised Amber got all of this wonderful loot in one tiny little project bag! Amber is the best! This was such a kind, thoughtful, and generous gift. Everything is so…me!! I am beyond giddy with how awesome this package is! My thanks go out to Amber for all the heart you put into the package!